F2020

Where do I even start this post? I'm not really sure, so let's just do a wordvomit explanation without the gory details! But first, all the content warnings because this post is a journey. Mental Health Crisis, suicide attempt, self-harm, etc.
I totally lost my shit this year! Between COVID and the new civil rights movement we've had going on, I've also been spiralling between manic and depressive states and I've tried comitting suicide a couple times this summer. I relapsed with my self-harm and it was just really bad all around. I've even thought of shutting down this blog permanently this year. Just a lot of negative headspace. In the midst of lockdown, I also got messaged that the breeder that I'd been talking to about a service dog prospect had a puppy that could be a good match for me in the new litter they'd had at the beginning of the COVID debacle and was I still interested? Yes, I was. So I bought a Great Dane puppy and started puppy-proofing the house in preparation of picking her up in a month! Then my birthday rolled around and my best friend flew down to surprise me. And it was a surprise. We last saw each other shortly after my 16th birthday when she moved away. So it had been 15 years, obviously we grew up. But we also had a lot of differences. Which was hard to see with a country between us. Now there's a lot between us and it hurts to think about. Then I nearly ended everything the weekend after she left. Oop. The next weekend, in the middle of recovery, I had to go across the state to pick up my new puppy. And that was actually really good for me because it's given me something positive to focus on while putting my head back together. Fast forward to the end of August and everything seems to be settling down and my oldest girl who's been declining healthwise for a while has been having to be carried to go outside for bathroom time and won't eat or drink anymore. And we had to say goodbye to Nikita. I'm glad we could give her more time with the help of our vet and a nice house with a yard but I wish she could have seen the house at the end of next month when we put up all the Christmas decorations we've been buying throughout the year for her to enjoy because she really did love going for rides to see all the Christmas decorations on houses and around Orlando. Then my mom had to be checked into the hospital for emergency care or lose her hand. And it has been a year.

While I've been dealing with all of this, I've been raising and training my Great Dane puppy. She's currently (as of 28 September 2020) 63lbs, 25" standing at the shoulders, and 28" chest girth. Her name is Andromeda Trance Gemini, I call her Rommie and RomCom for short. And yes. I am that geeky. Extra points if y'all understand the name reference. Rommie is amazing at her training and I'm going to post updates about her and our training as we go. I'm also hoping to provide a little guidance for others out there who have been trying to find resources for legitimate service animals in the US as well as explain the differences between service animals (miniature horses and dogs per ADA, cats as permitted by local legislature), therapy dogs, and emotional support animals. Because there's a lot of misinformation out there and a lot of predatory schemes as well. And, there was once a time when my mom struggled to find information to get me a service dog and not even the doctor prescribing me one knew how to get that information. That needs to change.
I'm not sure what the future holds right now blogwise. It's going to take a bit of time to get back into things. And I'm going to be switching things up *gasp*. I want to make the site more accessible for screen readers and such. I've also been thinking of some new post serials and want to do more tag posts. And I'm going to be finally getting product reviews onto the site regularly.

The past few months, I've had blue hair. But this month, I've dyed my hair purple in memory of my friend, Ashley, and to help raise awareness for Rett Syndrome. Ashley, my brother, and myself grew up together. Our moms were friends and my brother and Ashley went to the same special needs daycare and we wound up in the same class together as kids. She was my friend and we lost her last year. October is Rett Syndrome Awareness Month and I wanted to drop the link for Reverse Rett an UK foundation dedicated to reversing Rett Syndrome if I don't get anything else posted for this month.
I'm determined to keep this site going, so I'm going to move on to new posts for you. I'll end this post with this cute little song that's been my theme song for the past month or so since I heard it on tiktok.

Until next time, have a happily ever after!